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Barbarians

A Handbook for Aspiring Savages

Barbarians by Byron Clavicle
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Sick of our spineless twenty-first century, with its fat-free cow milk, electric cars, and websites about spoiled chihuahuas? Wishing you could get what you want, when you want it? Perhaps you dream of trading in that restrictive tie for a liberating loincloth, then setting your office aflame? Ask yourself this: What Would a Barbarian Do?” With this primitive procedure, great men have altered the course of history (and hilarious B movies) for thousands of years.

Return to the simplicity of yore with this back-to-basics primer on bloody vengeance, furry pants, swordplay, and savage cuisine. Let renowned scholar Dr. Byron Clavicle and bona fide barbarian Grüte Skullbasher teach you how to crush your enemies, settle rent disputes, find a proper name and title that will put you atop the Yor Scale of Name Masculinity, and snare a chain-mail-bikini-wearing Amazon! With just twenty-thousand calories a day and a commitment to pillaging and plundering, you can join the rampaging hordes, negotiating with only your battleax as you destroy civilization!

Features include:

How to Dress Like a Barbarian!
The Barbarian Aptitude Test (B.A.T.)!
Vocational Guidance for the Mighty!
Barbarian Bible Stories!
Grüte Skullbasher’s Fashion Makeovers!
How to make your own barbarian movie!

...and much, much more!
Insight Editions LLC; September 2011
86 pages; ISBN 9781608870561
Read online, or download in secure PDF format
Title: Barbarians
Author: Byron Clavicle; Grüte Skullbasher; Joshua Kemble; Benjamin Chadwick
 
ISBNs
1608870561
9781608870240
9781608870561