Chapter One

A Monument to Romance

It was the Tuesday after Easter, and Sam and Barbara

Gardner were reclining underneath a palm tree, their eyes

closed, their bodies ghostlike after a long winter.

"This is the life," Sam said, sipping his ginger ale, then sighing

contentedly.

"It's not quite what I had in mind," Barbara said.

"What do you mean, it isn't what you had in mind?"

"When I agreed to be in charge of the church's Easter program

in exchange for your taking me somewhere with palm

trees, I wasn't thinking of the Holidome in Cartersburg."

"You should have been more specific," Sam pointed out.

"We could have at least spent the night."

"Are you crazy? They want eighty dollars a night."

"And you're sure we won't get in trouble for using the pool?"

"Not so long as they don't catch us," Sam said. "Just act like

you belong."

Barbara sighed."Steve Newman is a podiatrist and has a vacation

condominium in Florida."

"Who's Steve Newman?"

"A guy I dated in college, before I met you. He wanted to

marry me, but I turned him down. Now he owns a chain of

podiatry offices in Ohio and spends the winter in Florida."

"Why didn't you marry him?"

"He gave me the creeps. He kept wanting to touch my feet."

Sam gazed at her feet."I can't fault him.You have lovely feet."

"You think so?" She lifted her feet to inspect them.

"I especially like your thin ankles."

"Oh, Sam, you always know just what to say."

"It's a minister thing. Seventeen years of being diplomatic."

Barbara reclined her lounge chair until it was flat, then turned

to lie on her stomach.

"Would you like me to rub suntan lotion on your back?" Sam

offered.

"In case you haven't noticed,we're inside."

"We can pretend, can't we?"

"In that case, sure."

Sam squirted out a gob of lotion in his hand and began rubbing

Barbara's back.

"Be careful not to get any on my feet," she cautioned."I don't

want the sand to stick to me."

"Now you're catching on."

They sat by the pool another hour, then rose and made their

way to a table to eat lunch. Baloney sandwiches with ketchup,

which Sam had made at home, along with potato chips and

HoHos. Sam went to the vending machine and bought them a

Coke to share.

They lasted another hour before the manager invited them to

leave.

"I believe that was a record," Barbara said on the drive home.

"What record is that?"

"The cheapest date ever."

"I thought it was creative," Sam said, slightly hurt.

"Dr. Pierce is taking Deena scuba diving in Belize for their

honeymoon.That's creative."

"I thought you liked our honeymoon."

"Sam, you know I liked it. Cincinnati was nice." She reached

over and took his hand."I just thought when you said you'd take

me somewhere with palm trees, you didn't mean Cartersburg.

Those weren't even real palm trees."

"Speaking of Dr. Pierce and Deena," Sam said, eager to

change the subject, "I had a good premarital counseling session

with them. Did you know his great-grandfather was the Pierce

in Pierce-Arrow?"  less