The argument for the co-construction of funerals is informed by contemporary models of grief and Kelly's own experience with bereaved parents who worked with hospital chaplains to co-construct funerals for their babies. Co-construction is a process which is centred on listening and empowering, and involves offering the bereaved choices from a range of ritual resources (sacred and secular) in order to help them shape their funeral's content. It is a model of ritual construction which requires time, availability and risk-taking on the part of the ritual leader but which significantly helps the spiritual needs of the bereaved to be met. Moreover, such a process facilitates sensitive regulation of grief in an age where its privatisation has meant the bereaved are often bereft of a means by which to benchmark their feelings, behaviour and decision making.  less