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It's Not the End of the World
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Whose idea was it that you and your boyfriend should break up: yours or his? It’s usually easier to be the “dumper” than the “dumpee.” At least when you’re the one to call it quits, you don’t have a wounded ego on top of a broken heart. But even if you were the one who said, “It’s over. We’re history,” that doesn’t mean the break-up is going to be easy on you.
• There will be times you’re sure people are talking about you and your break-up. (And some of those times you’ll be right.)
• There will be times you’ll see your friends (or even total strangers) walking with their boyfriends, kissing their boyfriends, dancing with their boyfriends…. You’ll see them together, and you’ll feel sorry for yourself because you don’t have a boyfriend anymore. They still have boyfriends. You used to have a boyfriend. But you don’t have a boyfriend now. And this will hurt.
• If your ex-boyfriend gets a new girlfriend quickly, before you’ve had a chance to get over the break-up, it’s not going to make you feel very happy to see them together…especially during PDAs (Public Displays of Affection).
• There will be times when you’ll miss him. Even if you were the one who broke up with him. Even if you did it for very good reasons. Even if you did it because he turned out to be a total jerk. There was something good about him, or you wouldn’t have been attracted to him in the first place. You had some good times with him, or the relationship wouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. (If it lasted only a week or two, you probably wouldn’t be upset enough over the break-up to be reading this book.) And there will be times you’ll remember his great sense of humor or his ability to cheer you up when you’d had a rough day. There will be times when you’ll remember the fun you had together. And you’ll miss him.
But there are things you can do to make your world feel better. (We’ll talk about them at greater length in Chapter 3.) And there are other things you need to do (and not do!) to make sure you don’t cause greater problems for yourself later on. (We’ll talk about those at greater length later on, too.)