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101 Ways to Spend Your Lottery Millions

101 Ways to Spend Your Lottery Millions by Jenny Humphreys
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Everyone dreams of winning the Lottery. This witty guide illustrates some of the more bizarre and humorous possibilities that exist for anyone with a million or two to spare.
Summersdale Publishers Ltd.; Read online
Title: 101 Ways to Spend Your Lottery Millions
Author: Jenny Humphreys
1 First of all, and most importantly, you must find yourself a bank. A good, safe, strong bank where your spondoolies will be secure and protected. A big, fat, round bank with cute floppy ears and a wiggly tail. And a snout. • It will have to be big. We are talking of about eight briefcases full of notes. • It will need to be about 2ft by 4ft. And why not have it gold-plated, jewel encrusted or made of finest porcelain? The dimensions could be reduced by the cost of the pig alone. • And then you can relax, safe in the knowledge that nobodywill try to fiddle your accounts or try to remove obscene amounts of your money for tax purposes. Wire it up to the mains and nobody can swipe it either. • However, this will be only temporary storage, since your new purpose in life is to spend, spend, spend! 2 I think the best thing to do is to have a little break. You’ll want to get away from all the media hype and the wingeing relatives. Why not gather together five of your nearest and dearest and just head off for a week of sheer, unadulterated indulgence? • Branson’s Necker Island should do the trick. For £4,400 you can take advantage of the fantastic scuba diving, snorkelling and sailing, or laze on the beach being pampered by maids and top class chefs. Your every whim can be catered for. • Incidentally, that’s £4,400 a day. But hey, that’s only £30,800 for the week. Why not stay a month? • Better still, why not buy your very own island? A companyin Hamburg deals with selling islands and a haven of tranquillity and beauty in any ocean can set you back anything from £13,000 to £13 million. • Why, with your sort of money you could buy a small archipelago.
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