Ever wonder why your self-control, rationality, and compassion seem to go out the window when dealing with your partner? Couples therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny explains it all in this revelatory book about the divide between our adult and our toddler brains. Too often, conflict in our intimate relationships reactivates our least-regulated "toddler" side, bringing out an instinctive desire to assert our own way and make everything a zero-sum game. Dr. Stosny shows the way toward overcoming these destructive impulses and nurturing our more loving and clear-eyed inclinations. Drawing upon his decades of experience in working with troubled marriages, he distills his insights into an actionable guide for embracing our best impulses in our relationships.
Empowered Love is a valuable guide for married and live-in couples who struggle with an unhealthy dynamic; those already in individual or couples therapy who want a highly effective aid to help them communicate with their partner; and licensed therapists and counselors looking for an in-depth perspective on the developmental stages in play with relationship strife.
"Readers will garner valuable negotiating strategies, learn interactive exercises (including a 'bedroom scoreboard') to engage more proactively with their partners, and apply practical knowledge on shepherding their own relationships away from destructive behaviors and toward a unifying, durable connection. Readers on the lookout for self-development and a deeper loving connection with their partner will find ideas and guidance galore in this sensible relationship manual." — Kirkus Reviews
"This book is for anyone who wants to learn from their painful relational past; rescue and revive a current relationship; and receive promise and hope for their future. This refreshingly brilliant book not only identifies the bottom line issues in relationships, it provides a concrete formula for creating mature, passionate relationships. In this book Dr. Stosny brilliantly identifies the underlying cause of all relationship dissatisfaction and distress. Refreshingly practical, the book draws a clear line between unhealthy and healthy interactions, enabling the reader to identify and prevent relationships disasters long before they happen. Steven Stosny's work never fails to inform, inspire and draw a clear roadmap to happier, healthier relationships." — Pat Love, Ed.D., LMFT, co-author You’re Tearing Us Apart: Twenty Ways We Wreck Our Relationships and Strategies to Repair Them
"If you've ever wondered why all of your relationships are a breeze except for your intimate one, wonder no more. Steven Stosny explains how intimate partners often get stuck in repetitive and unproductive ways of interacting, and how, more importantly, to break free of these hurtful relationship habits. If your relationship isn't what it once was or what you hoped it would be, before you convince yourself that you picked the wrong partner, read this book! It combines cutting edge information about how our brains drive our choices in day to day interactions along with Stosny's extensive experience in helping people love each other more. This book is a must read!" — Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Divorce Remedy
"Combining the latest in neuroscience with decades of experience as a couples therapist specializing in the most difficult cases, Steven Stosny has written a clear, practical, immensely readable guide to arm and activate our better angels. Empowered Love is for anyone who wishes to show up more humanely in our closest and most important relationships." — Terry Real, author of The New Rules of Marriage